Are You Eatin, Sleepin, Dreamin with that One Thing On Your Mind??

"Success is my only mutha F**kin Option...Failures NOT!"

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

FINALLY!! (It let me upload pics!)

Blend Meet Up w/ Mtn Juniper!!

Me & Kristin at the Pink Taco

This has got to be the COOLEST booth EVER in a restaraunt!! Its a semi-circle, the walls are at least 20 feet high and these crosses are HUGE! Next time we go there-I wanna sit under the crosses

Even though I only got to spend a couple hours with was FANTASTIC!! I cant say enough about her-shes beautiful, thoughtful, caring, funny, open & honest, and a shining example of a SURVIVOR!! Thanks again Girly for spending the afternoon with me!! It means more to me than you can imagine!!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Bloggers Not Cooperating...

Ive been trying to post about my FANTASTIC MeetUp with Kristin (MtnJuniper) ever since Sunday afternoon & post our pics...but I keep gettin booted. :(

Ok...will hafta post about that later.

Also..I really wanted to put sumthin new up & quit seeing my "Pity-Party" post from Saturday.

Today is the 1st day that Im feeling like Im heading back into ther "normal-zone" again..and Im soooo excited!! This "low" has been kickin my ass..

Thank you Everyone for hangin in there WITH me and FOR me when I get into my "episodes". It means the world to me.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Could Someone Just SHOOT Me & Put Me Out of my @$#%^&** Misery??!!


Yeahhhh I'm f*ckin WHINING ..and COMPLAINING....and BITCHIN' !!!! But I have a damn GOOD reason-I just cant take these cramps & my %^%##%&& period anymore right now!!!

One or 2 days..I can live with, but c'mon this shit has been kickin my ass & had me down-f0r-the-count for almost SIX days!! WTF??!!

Im startin to get worried, I havent had problems like this/symptoms this severe in probably over a year. I literally have been doubled over in pain, curled up in the fetal position with a heating pad for the last 3 days. You can even SEE the pain in my eyes (well you can if you can get past the FIVE huge zits covering my face) It sounds crazy but when I get to this point it affects EVERY aspect of my life. I swear if it doesnt stop soon-Im gunna end up in jail for f*ckin killin someone during one of my fits of RAGE!! UURRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Damnnnnn I NEED medical insurance........
And a damn good Defense Attorney.........

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Monsoon Season-YIKES!!

Its one of those RARE mornings here in the Valley of the Sun. No Sunshine, just house-rattling Thunder, clouds and now its raining so hard I literally can't see the building next door.'s MONSOON TIME!

No one ever told me about monsoons BEFORE I moved to AZ. If they had-I might have thought twice about living here becuz I HATE storms, thunder & lightening (unless I am very far away from it).
Growing up in the North Bay, we might get one or two thunderstorms a year but nuthin like this. This is CRAZY!! Last year (my 1st Monsoon Season) I freaked out--I was SO unprepared! Every single day around 5pm or so (always seemed to happen around rush hour) an alert (yall know the Emergency Broadcast System alerts?) would come across the TV and advise everyone to stay inside because of the Monsoons & alert us to where the flash floods were. Flash floods in the desert..sumthin I never thought Id hafta worry about! Hell..just the sound of that stupid Alert System going off and it NOT being a "test" makes my heart beat faster & gets me nervous.

This year has been unbelievably tame, at least here in my area. Last year our complex lost over 25 Huge trees in less than 3 months from the winds, & storms. It seemed like everytime I took Rocky out for a walk-there was another tree that had been ripped from the soil. One storm last year even ripped the carport cover (Metal pole and all) RIGHT OUT OF THE CEMENT! (And crushed 4 of my neighbors cars in the process) Scary stuff!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Pictures That Make Me SMILE.........

I found these when I was cleanin up some files on the computer & just had to share them!! Hope they make ya'll SMILE too!!

This Pic of Blake was taken in ATL in Dec. It was a great trip, and I LOVE that you can still see that "Lil' Boy" Grin in him.

Blake, His Great Grandpa & his Dad. Taken Easter this was the 1st time Blake ever got to meet his Great Grandpa...and the 1st time we ever spent a Holiday together as a Family. (Can U see the family resemblance or what?!)

My spoiled Little GRACIE, her 1st night in our Home. I knew when she fell asleep like this on my lap that she trusted me. Awwhhhhhhhhhh.......

One of my favorite pics of my Baby ROCKY. Everytime I see this pic I smile--this was "SOOOOO HIM". All cuddled up under the blankets with just his cute lil nose stickin out.
Me -N-Miss CLeo. Taken "back in da' Day" right before I left for work. (Damnnn I was Cute in my uniform huh? hehe)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

HOTTIE's Got A Brand New RIDE....

Dang...didnt think Elliott could look much HOTTER than he already did, but LEMME TELL YA that he's in my fave colors (red & Black) and drivin a DODGE...OMG!!

Theres only ONE Dodge he would look even HOTTER in......


Friday, August 18, 2006

Official Challenge...6 1/2 Weeks IN.....

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


As UNBELIEVABLE as it sounds to me, the more I'm looking into the "Signs of Overtraining" I think I might be over-doing it.

I am SOOOO exhausted, not only Physically but mentally lately that I cant even get my day-to-day activities done. WTH?? Been having "mini-breakdowns" for the last few days, then reading back on my blog-the exhaustion has actually been goin on for almost TEN DAYS. No wonder I feel like shit. Today was the 1st day in a LOONG LONG time that I TRULY questioned just WHY am I trying so hard to get into shape & get a hard-body. ..and if all this effort is even worth it. That kind of thinkin is just plain crazy becuz I KNOW its all worth it. I will NEVER go back to "That" Dana I was a couple years ago. I didnt even know who "SHE" was, but I hated her.

Anyways, tryin to get a handle on things, a few folks from MyBlends mentioned the classic signs of Overtraining & Ive been doin a lil research tonite. (In between naps & CRYING SPELLS)
Heres what I found:
SIGNS OF OVERTRAINING:**(and what Im seeing in myself)

Slower reaction times, reduced speeds and lowered endurance are all common signs of overtraining.
(**Even though I am hitting a new High Point on my HIIT run, my overall mile/avg time increased from 12:00 min/mile to 12:15 min/mile this past week)

Too much exercise and too little rest can wreak havoc on the hormones, cause mood swings and create an inability to concentrate.
(**Im like a walkin time bomb lately-just Im not sure if Im gunna cuss someone out, start laughing uncontrollably or burst into tears at any given moment. Even at work the tasks that normally take me an hour are taking about double that)

A body that never has a chance to recover from a previous workout will continue to feel more and more fatigued. Some people describe this as "heavy legs."
(**"Heavy Legs" is the PERFECT description. Tonight I took Gracie out and I swear it took EVERY last ounce of energy I had just to walk around the complex & back up the stairs. My whole body is DRAGGING. Even my HAIR is TIRED!)

Overtraining takes its toll on the body, and workouts that were once a breeze can begin to feel like a grind.
(**Im used to "GLOWING" w/ energy during my workouts, but theres been twice in the past week that I have actaully CRIED in the middle of it instead. Takes everything to get thru my lifting-which I normally LOVE to do)

Overused muscles and joints can cause constant aches, which may go unnoticed until the body is given proper rest.

Too much exercise taxes all of the body's systems and makes it more difficult to ward off infections.
(**hmmm...could this be why Ive had a sore throat & cold for a week now?)

During sleep the body has time to rest and repair itself. An overtrained body, however, is sometimes unable to slow down and completely relax, making it difficult to recover between workouts.
(**As tired as I am-I cant sleep for more than about 2 hrs at atime. My body just never "settles down" & hasnt for over a week now)

Overtraining can cause an increase in hormones such as epinephrine and norepinephrine that tend to inhibit appetite. The physical exhaustion and anxiety that often occur with overtraining can also have the same effect.
(**Really havent felt like eating for almost 2 weeks-except my "almost-binge" 2 days ago. Thats why Im loving the SYNTRAX NECTAR so very much-I am getting my protein & calories WITHOUT HAVING TO EAT)

A clear sign of an overworked heart muscle is a chronically elevated heart rate. Also, people who overtrain will often find that it takes longer for their heart rate to return to normal after a workout.

Exercising excessively and not consuming enough calories may disrupt a woman's menstrual cycle. While some may experience irregular periods, other will stop menstruating altogether.
(**again-could be a coincidence, but Ive started my period THREE times in the past 3 weeks! WTF??!! I really doubt this is the reason though becuz I think this applies to chicks that have very LOW bodyfat %'s & mine is still way up there.)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Disaster AVERTED (Thanks to Jen & Bubblz!)...

What would I do without my BFL Blends/Family?? Actually yesterday I would have BINGED BIGTIME!! Thank you soooo much Jen & Suzanne for "Talkin me off the Ledge" & gettin me thru my breakdown.

Not sure WHAT exactly triggered it...basically a combination of EXHAUSTION, & HUNGER (waited way too long between meals) I think, ...but it was BADDDDDD!!

For those of you who have Toddlers-ya know how they get when they are over tired & EVERYTHING is suddenly too much to handle? The crying, screaming...WHINING??!! Well... THAT WAS ME!

I think Jens experience as a Early Childhood Educator gave her the knowledge to deal with me, and Suzanne talked & texted me thru a walk, away from any harmful foods. YOU 2 ROCK!!

After a yummy BFL meal, and a 2 hr nap I was all ready to hit it hard again-went and did 62 min of extra cardio last night and ATE CLEAN!!

Thanks again Suzanne & Jen...and thanks Lisa Michele for callin & checkin on me Girl! I couldnt do this without ALL of my FRIENDS...Luv ya'll!!

Monday, August 14, 2006

No More Sadness..Just Alot of "Stuff"...(And Boyz R Stupid...)

1st of all..let me start by saying THANK YOU to Everyone for their thoughts, prayers and hugs during my lil' Breakdown on Saturday. All the love & support helped me get thru a really rough day. An extra special thanks to LisaMichele & Bubblz for the phone calls!!

All in all-I am pretty proud of the way I handled Sat. Got in a really hard-core workout(UBWO) & even did an extra 30 min on the recumbant bike to help deal with the anger & anxiety I was feeling. Then, was asked out by "Hottie" at the gym-(more on THAT under the Boyz R Stupid part). I treated myself to a mani & pedi later on. My lil' manicurist is DA BOMB! She spent 1 HOUR & 10 min on my feet & calves, another hour on my hands, forearms & biceps. I was so relaxed that I fell asleep 3-4 times. I sooo needed that -when I left I felt 100% better.

OK..."Boyz R Stupid" (Sorry Casey & Jim-Bo-not talkin about yall)
Hottie at the gym SHOCKED me by askin me "to spend the day together" Sat right after my workout. Girls....he is H-O-T. He competes in Natural BB competetions, is about 6'4", bald, VERY easy on the eyes! So..he gives me his #, says lets get together in an hour or so, yadda yadda yadda. I call him, leave him a msg...and NEVER HEAR BACK from him. WTF?? Whatever....Boyz R Stupid
Then theres "Mr.NFL"....hes been callin/textin me lately. I decided that seein him Sat night might NOT be sucha bad idea. Hell..its been like 2+ months since Ive seen him, and when I really think about it-I do miss him. Plus we always have so much fun when were together. And I do miss just talkin/spendin time together. Went to his place, chilled out in the "Theater Room" (damn I WISH I had one of those in MY house!) & had a really nice night. Boyz R still Stupid though-becuz everytime we see each other its the same old thing....he says he WANTS to spend more time with me, see me more often, wants me to travel with him, etc but reality is-- we see each other MAYBE every 2 months or so. Told ya..."Boyz R Stupid"
Oh yeah...then theres my Ex-Fiance'. Some Bio-tch that used to work w/ us told him Friday that i'm STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM!! Now thats a "TRUE WTF?!" Moment!! He has been callin my cell OFF THE HOOK for 3 days, leavin msgs about how we need to get back together. UGGHH!! NOT happenin Buddy! Once again.."Boyz R Stupid!"

Oh..GOTTA share this-yesterday I FINALLY broke my scale plateau!! Down F-O-U-R lbs!!

Lookin forward to a FANTASTIC week!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

MISS YOU Girl..............

She took this pic on Aug 7th, 1993 (5 days before she died) She had it shipped to my Parents as a arrived on the day of her Funeral-which kinda freaked us all out, but I LOVE this pic.

My Tat-

Jenifers name encased by the Egyptian Ahnk (Symbol of eternal Life) & the Eye of Ra-(protection from evil).
I got this done a few days after we got a conviction in her means THE WORLD to me. This is the main reason I want big, strong CUT Biceps. She is ALWAYS with me...

Friday, August 11, 2006

Time to Face Reality....

Ive been tryin my best to avoid the thats gunna change anything....

Tomarrow will be 13 Years since my Lil' Sis/Best Friend JENIFER was murdered. I can't believe its been so long. But then again, Somedays it seems like it was just yesterday...while other days it seems like it was in another lifetime. In a way-it WAS another lifetime I guess. I have "My Life Part 1-WITH Jen" & then theres "My Life Part 2" which started on August 12, 1993.

Both Part 1 & Part 2 have had their ups & downs, but at least during Part 1-I ALWAYS had my Sister with me--NO MATTER WHAT. (When youre only 18 months apart in age, you get to be REALLY close.) Even when she was 3000 miles away in the Army, we talked at least 5-6 times a week,(if not daily) & wrote each other all the time. I was actually the very last person that spoke to her.(Besides the punk Mutha-F*ckers that killed her) She called me less than 3 HOURS before she was killed, and we set our plans to go on a Cruise together when she moved back home to CA in 2 weeks. Then...just like that...she was gone. Damn ...


All week Ive been trying to be kind to myself, stay strong, take care of myself and hold the depression & sadness at bay, but I just cant do it right now. IT HURTS TOOO FUCKIN MUCH!!!!

This N That Part II......

Can ya believe its Friday already?? This week has kinda flown by. It started out ROUGH (battling insomnia for 3 days, my "jean-shopping MELT-DOWN", and just being T-I-R-E-D!) But its ending on a much better note. :)

My Program has been "ON" this week-Ive been eating clean EVERY single day, have hit new high points on the Dreadmill (8.0 mph yesterday-wooohooo!), & have been tryin to push myself so hard in the gym that I actually STARTED CRYING during my last set of bicep reps. WTF?!

I wanna get ''In the ZONE" (im almost there!)& stay there until the Richmond trip. Im think Im bein realistic-while Im gone I will do my best to be BFL-strong, but I also know I am gunna be busy, Im gunna have a couple of drinks w/Shirley & not sure what kind of workout room the hotel will have. (Im stayin at 3 different hotels within a week-but Im gunna be goin to different areas & dont wanna drive too far each day.) Make sense? Im gettin so excited about the trip-but theres still ALOT of things I need to take care of. Gotta book the rental car, gotta get Blakes plane tickets to CA, need to find a hotel for the 1st 2 days Im there. Look into any local Golds Gym or LA Fitness, etc etc etc

Then theres the Terrorists Bullshit goin on-Hate to admit it...but its got me kinda freaked. Im not AFRAID to fly-and I truly belive that when my time comes, theres nothing I can do to stop it, but I just HATE that MY life is being affected by the crazy M-F'rs that wanna kill. Ok..Im not gunna get into all that. I know one thing-the Flight Attendants are gunna be sick of me asking for bottle after bottle of water on the flights since I cant take my own huge jug onboard. :)

My weekend agenda: (Boring)
*Clean this apt from top to bottom. Cant stand when things are out of place/messy & Ive been neglectin it all week. Not sure WHY I get like this-it makes it tougher on myself becuz when the house is dirty-my OCD acts up REALLY bad, starts leadin to depression & a vicious circle. Im puttin an end to THAT cycle TODAY after work!!
*Watch the Races-Busch on Sat & nextel Cup on Sunday. Hopin my man makes it past the THIRD lap this week!
*Wrap up all my travel plans
*Scrap book at least 3 pages(havent done ANY since I moved to AZ!)
*Take pics w/new camera

Yall can thank me now for puttin you to sleep w/my exciting (NOT!) life!!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Yeah...I bet Snickers isnt the only thing in the pic that SATISFIES!!!!

Monday, August 07, 2006


Why am I a FREAK MAGNET?! I swear, if theres a freaky/weird-ass guy anywhere within a 10 mile radius-they are drawn directly to me! (My close friends can vouch for me on this unfortunately!)
UUGGHHHHH!! What is it about me? PLEASE tell me so I CAN CHANGE!

I have a gorgeous, dear friend-that shall go un-named, (but lives VERY close to me) HINT-HINT! And we all know she has a tendency to be a "dork-magnet" when we go out, but at least the Dorks are pretty much goofy & harmless. They just like to try to get her attention & act all goofy-but shes beautiful so ya cant blame um. But with me....I gotta get the FREAKS! WTH?

My latest episode of freak-magnetism:

Early this morning, at the post office I was approached by an attractive older man (50-ish). He came up & commented on how much he loved my shoes & that he loved how tall they made me. (Cool-ya'll know how much I absolutley LOVE my 3-4 inch heels, & yeah-they make me about 6'2".) He walks away, only to come back all the way across the room a few mins later to tell me how how sexy & beautiful my FEET are. From there he started gettin all EXCITED about my tatoo on the inside of my ankle & then.....told me he wanted TO LICK IT!!!!!!!!

Thats right folks-this guy wants to LICK MY ANKLE TATOO!!! WTF??!!!

All of this BEFORE 8am! Waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy toooo much for me-I RAN to my truck & didnt even mail my letter off.....

Am I EVER gunna attract a NORMAL guy? Heellpppppppppppppppp!!!!
This N That....

Its Monday & I'm tryin my best to make it a good day-which has been a challenge in itself & its ONLY 6:00 AM!

Last night-couldnt sleep. I was really tired, went to bed kinda late & just layed there WIDE awake. URGGHH!!! Thought watchin "Flava Of Love" might put me to sleep but it was too gross/funny! Did anyone else see it? OMG-the one nasty/psycho/ghetto girl actually POOPED (yes you read that right!) on herself & the entire FLOOR OF THE MANSION!! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Ok..enough nastiness...all in all I totaled about 3 hours of sleep-I need about 4 more to feel good. Nap time will be comin early today I hope.

Today I hafta go to COURT, for a stupid speeding ticket. Out here in Scottsdale they had the bright idea of putting the radar-cameras ON THE FREEWAY. WTF??? Its been a huge debate/fight ever since they started them, & we're the only place in the US that has them directly on a freeway, but dammitt-if I didnt get flashed!! Yeah-I was doin 77 in a 65 zone, but still...UGHHH. For any of yall that are in law enforcement youll understand why Im so mad: My drivers License has a "security block" on it. (Which means if I ever get stopped/pulled over & my DL is ran-it comes up saying "******* County Sheriffs Dept" for my address/contact info) Ive only been pulled over twice in 12 years, but both times was given "Professional Courtesy" and no ticket. Well the damn camera could care less about professional courtesy. its TRAFFIC SCHOOL & $124 to get out of this one. Plus, goin in front of the judge today to get an extension so I can do the school. Hate goin to court, even after all the testifying I have done in the past.

Ok...enough of the "this" & onto the "That":
I bought a REAL camera yesterday!! The Kodak 6.1 MP C643. I LOVE IT!! So get ready to be bombarded with pics on here.
Our BFL Meetup went great on Sat night. There were 7 of us, had great food, great conversation & I came away motivated & excited about my Challenge.
I hafta thank JESS for the new site-Im already addicted to it! Its so nice to have a positive place to go.
NASCAR at the Brickyard yesterday was heart breaking. My man crashed in LAP#2!!! WTH?? Lap 2?? They usually dont even get up to full speed until Lap # 3! I wasnt even home from the gym yet when it happened, so I missed it. What can I say-Its been a rough year for my Cutie Pie....Good thing he's still HOT to look at!

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Its Soooo Good to be Home!!

I actually got back Wed around noon, but its taken me this long to catch up on lost sleep, and attempt to get back into my normal routine. Its CRAZY how a few days of a "so-called" vacation can take such a toll on me, my body & my health.

Dont get me wrong-I love goin back home to Cali. Seeing my family, Shirley & Cathy is the BEST part-very relaxin, just chill out & catch up on stuff. But when Im not with them, I am goin 100 MPH NON-STOP. Drivin back & forth to San Francisco w/Blake, tryin to fit in visiting everyone in a 3 day time frame, fit in my workouts, had the concert to go to-which was a 1.5 hrs drive each way. Theres just so much to do & not enough time. I always end up feeling guilty about it when I cant squeeze everything in. I need to work on that. I worry too much about what other people think..why is it that I feel I need to please everyone & that I want EVERYONE to like me?? Soo UNREALISTIC! (The 1st step is admitting I have a problem!)

Anyways, Im lovin bein back in AZ. Im a nerd-but I get so excited over the little things here-wakin up to a beautiful, sunny day (were experiencin a cold-front which means its been 99-102 the last 3 days which is FABULOUS!) Sittin here in my "bachelor-lookin apt." with Blake, Gracie & Rodeo..I am happy as a Lark!! (Im a dork-I know!) Even cleaning my house & getting everything back in order/where it belongs makes me happy. How SICK is that?! (Blame it on my OCD-I cant stand to have things out of drives me INSANE!!)

Went to see Talledaga Nights yesterday-too funny, but it made me desperately wanna go to a race NOW!! Looks like I'll be goin to the Fontana Race on Sept 2nd!! Then, I leave for VA (my BIG trip!) on Sept 5th!! AWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

No time to lose-gotta step up my game w/BFL-Hit it hard & give it all and THEN SUM!!

Tonight we are having our first OFFICIAL BFL AZ MEETUP! Im sooooo excited!! Thank you Janel for puttin it all together-YOU SERIOUSLY ROCK!
A Lil' Late....

But heres the Luau Pics. (Poor quality-but hey-its from my cell phone)

Me N my Beautiful Niece Destiny

Me N Pops ( I absolutley ADORE my Dad-Hes the BEST!!)

This is my Favorite "island Boy" Al & his Girlfriend...he is 70 yrs old, & the SWEETEST guy you will ever meet !
I know his GF doesnt look happy-but see really does like me too. (Im the only one she likes out of our whole club!)

Blake N Destiny.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Truth Be told.......

Im Hot--AFTER 2 shots of Tequila & a shot of Jack Daniels!!! WAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Dammitt..I wanna be Hot BEFORE the shots start flowing! Oh well......

Anyways-we had front row seats & the concert went good. As soon as me & Heidi got there Darryls Bus driver/merchandise guy Vincent came & gave me a hug, & talked to us for a while, which was cool. During the show, Darryl and the 2 guys in the band I had met on Wed all waved, ackowledged us, etc.

After the show, when I got to see Darryl the 1st thing he did was gime a big hug & a kiss on the cheek(dammitt!), told me how pretty I looked, that he was really happy I made it to the show, then went straight into an apology about how sorry he was if he had said anything "out of line" to me in Tucson. Shhiiiiitttt!! Out of line? I was LUVIN IT!! BBwhahahahahaaahahahah!!
Oh about burstin my bubble!! He said he got trashed that night, and it got really bad after I left. So there ya have it- I was HOT becuz he was DRINKIN!!
Ok..Im gunna go sit in the "loser" corner now.

Actually I ended up havin a really nice conversation with him, we talked about my Sister, compared tats, talked about BFL, & found out that we have a mutual friend DAVE (Jens Husband!) . He promised me that if me & Jen come to his show when we're in TN that he'll show us around. (He was born & raised there) Ya know if I do..Im bringin a whole DAMN BOTTLE of Tequila!! Bbwahahahahahahhaha!

Oh well...time to leave the country singers alone & go back to bein the True NASCAR Hooch that I am!!