Time to Face Reality....

Ive been tryin my best to avoid the fact....like thats gunna change anything....

Tomarrow will be 13 Years since my Lil' Sis/Best Friend JENIFER was murdered. I can't believe its been so long. But then again, Somedays it seems like it was just yesterday...while other days it seems like it was in another lifetime. In a way-it WAS another lifetime I guess. I have "My Life Part 1-WITH Jen" & then theres "My Life Part 2" which started on August 12, 1993.

Both Part 1 & Part 2 have had their ups & downs, but at least during Part 1-I ALWAYS had my Sister with me--NO MATTER WHAT. (When youre only 18 months apart in age, you get to be REALLY close.) Even when she was 3000 miles away in the Army, we talked at least 5-6 times a week,(if not daily) & wrote each other all the time. I was actually the very last person that spoke to her.(Besides the punk Mutha-F*ckers that killed her) She called me less than 3 HOURS before she was killed, and we set our plans to go on a Cruise together when she moved back home to CA in 2 weeks. Then...just like that...she was gone. Damn ...

I MISS HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

All week Ive been trying to be kind to myself, stay strong, take care of myself and hold the depression & sadness at bay, but I just cant do it right now. IT HURTS TOOO FUCKIN MUCH!!!!