Alo-haaaaa!

The luau was a success, even though we only had about 225 people attend (we've had up to 400 in the past). The food was unbelievable (My Daddy, brother & my Uncle John did all the cooking). I sooo wished Marky-Mark & Janel coulda been there-Mark woulda LOVED the Kalua Pig, the Lomi-lomi & the Haupia! (Put Aloha kitchen to shame!) Me and my SIL made just under $900 in profits on the bar sales, and the floor show was the best we've had in a really long time.

It was awesome to see all my "Aunties & Uncles", cousins & the rest of my Island Family. On the most part-everyone was SHOCKED when they saw me & very complimentary, but of course..theres always the few BIOTCHES. (Didn't their Mommas ever teach them "If ya cant say nuthin nice-dont say anything"?!) Oh well....I just smiled, had a great time and enjoyed being around alot of friends and family.

As much as I love Arizona its times like this weekend that make me so unbelievably homesick. I tend to forget what its like to be around people who truly love you & care about you....until Im put in that situation, then it hits me like a ton of bricks.

OK....aint gunna end this on a sad note! Today its off to the gym w/Cathy-Girl (shes so kickin ass w/her BFL Challenge!), then Im FINALLY gettin my hair done by my cousin! YIPPEEEE!!!
After that, its time to get as cute as possible to go to the Darryl Worley concert! WOoooHooooo!!
Send me strength yall-Ill be at a county Fair with all the yummy, nasty greasy delicous fair food you can imagine! -JUST SAY NO DANA!-JUST SAY NOOOOO!!
Aloha!

Me N Darryl....

Yeah...he looks a lil rough in last nights pic, so heres a couple other ones so yall can see how cute he really is.
(And yeah-youve all seen my top before-sorry..dont have any cute clothes!)










This was last Oct, sorry its so blurry-its a pic of a pic. Ewww...I am sooo fat in that pic!

OMG!! Darryl Worley Thinks I'm HOT! AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

(First..I hafta thank Shirley & Cathy for gettin me to go to the concert last night. I debated all day becuz of the crap at home, but they both reminded me how hard Ive been workin towards my goals and that I needed to "reward" myself w/ a night out. THANK YOU!!)

I had such a good time, and Darryl blew my mind when I finally got backstage to see him!
He told me I was beautiful, that he loved my curly hair, & asked if he could touch it. (Hell yeah..but only if you PULL IT hard! BBwhahahaha) No, I didnt say that but I WISH I woulda!
We had talked for a few min, then ..when I started to walk away he grabbed my hand, pulled me back, stared into my eyes and said " I hafta tell you-You have the sexiest, most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen. .. I know-cuz I was starin at 'um all night-I could just start kissin you right now when you look at me like that." I know-kinda cheesy, but Dayyummmm it sounded good at the time! Ive always liked Darryl ever since the 1st time I met him about 8 yrs ago, and hes NEVER said anything like that to me before so ya know I was about to MELT!

That led to a lil more converstaion (no smoochin!), and I found out that he is playin the county fair back home in CA on Monday..so guess what? Ill be there-another backstage pass in hand!!

A few min. later, 2 of the guys in the band came up to me and told me how beautiful I was, and that I better be right up front on Monday Night so they have something hot to look at. ( WHATEVER!) Its pretty hilarious to me. The guys are all cool though, and they rock the show-so Im lookin forward to it.

Before I left, Darryl gave me another hug and said "Dont forget-MONDAY! Im lookin forward to it...see ya then Dana"

I think thats when I officially melted. ( I know-Im a dork!!)

All in all..I had a great time, stayed 100% on track BFL wise and got a HUGE ego boost out of it. Not a bad night at all!

Stop the Ride...I WANT OFF!!!

Here we go again....just when things SEEM to be calming down with my son, the frickin rollercoaster goes back to Full speed. I HATE this ride and I WANT OFF!!

I have been praying for the strength to get thru today, tonite & tomarrow....then at least we'll be on the road headed back to CA. Things got so bad again yesterday that I almost said "F*ck it-I cant take it anymore..Im leavin RIGHT NOW, take both of these boys back to CA, drop them off and come back alone. I'm DONE with being a Mom!!"
Thanks Shirley for "talkin me off the ledge"!!

Anyone that knows me ...knows I dont really mean that Im done bein a Mom, but Im sooooo close to that point right now that it scares me. I have NEVER been disrespected like this-not even by the scummy-ass inmates I worked with for 10 years...

Last nite the "Dynamic-frickin Duo" decided to sneak out when I went to bed...which was IT! I waited up, locked them out, called the PD & about ripped their frickin throats out when they came home. Im done. Finished. THROUGH! I told Blake he cant live with me if this is the way he wants to be. His reply? "You wont do that. Im everything to you. Im the reason youre in Arizona & if you kick me out or make me live somewhere else..you KNOW itll kill you. It AINT gunna happen. You know it & I know." I still dont know what stopped me from punchin him in his throat at that exact moment!! Thats the kinda shit Im dealin with right now.
How can I love someone so much and hate them at the same time???

The Countdown is Onnnnnn......

This is gunna be a crazy-busy week, with so much to look forward to (and so much to do)!

*Tomarrow night is the 1st Event of my "Mini-Goals": The Darryl Worley Concert. As excited as Ive been to go-I ve been kinda second-guessing the idea the last 2 days. Im basically all set-have my backstage pass, have an idea of what Ill wear (no-cant afford anything new, so yall are gunna hafta see a "repeat" outfit-ughhh). The main concern-the shows in Tuscon which is 2 hrs away. I absloutley LOVE to drive and go to new places by myself, but for some reason Im kinda hesitant. Hmmmm....

*Thursday night I'll really see how much I LOVE driving..."I'm Goin Back to Cali..Cali..Cali..Goin Back to Cali..." (remember LLCool J's song?!) hahahaha-yeah Im old-school like 'dat!
Anyways...thatll be 12 hrs in the truck with 2 teenage boys-Funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Hopefully theyll sleep most of the way since we arent leavin Phx until 10-11 pm.
This is gunna sound bad-but I cant WAIT to have my apartment back to being MINE again!!(Vince is goin home and Im not sure if Blake is comin back to AZ with me or not this trip) Im to the point that Im TIRED of seeing "bodies" sprawled all over the couches, tired of spending $700/month on groceries (my normal bill is around 300) , tired of worrying about 2 kids (beleive me..Blake gives me enough to worry about all by himself-I dont need more!) & just tired of not bein able to walk around the house in my bra & panties / sports bra & shorts if I feel like it. Oh yeah..lets not forget- theres the electric bill that has gone up $75 this month and the cell bill which jumped an extra $50 too since having both Blake & Vince here. Fun times.

Ok..enough of the rant-back to the GOOD things! Im so excited to get back to CA and see SHIRLEY & CATHY!! Im so proud of Cathy & her success with her BFL program-she is doing AMAZING and I cant wait to see the changes in her! I cant wait to hang out with my bestest NASCAR Hooch-weve got plans to make for our big trip & I really need some "girl-time"!

*Saturday night we have our Annual Fundraiser Luau and Im hopin and prayin my Hawaiian dress is gunna look HOT on me!(My 2nd Mini-Goal) I havent seen any of my "hawaii-family" since last august (and 50+lbs ago) so Im excited about that too. Me & my SIL run the bar area ...we always have such a blast, and damn-did you know that a lil flirting can make you some big $$ in tips?! hahahahahaa Were a great team, and shes frickin HILARIOUS! There will be NO MaiTais for me though-strictly alcohol free (until Richmond!)

Unfortunately I have some dang RESPONSIBILITIES to handle before the fun starts. Gotta sign my lease, get my work done for when Ill be out of town, TAN, do laundry, take my baby Gracie to be boarded while Im gone and all the lil stuff that comes with being gone for 5 days. All in all-not too bad!

IM EXCITED!!!!!

It's Sunday, so you know what that means....It's RACE DAY!!

Some of my girlfriends keep askin me WHY I watch NASCAR..Heres a few reasons :

3 Week Progress Pics...

I can't say THANK YOU enough to Dede for keeping me 100% on track for the last 2 weeks! She's such an amazing friend, and she got me "Back To Basics" with eating 100% COMPLETELY CLEAN, and living BFL AS WRITTEN!! Plus, she is totally kickin ass with her own Challenge. I am soooo proud of you Girl!!
(She has an alterior motive ya'll--she wants to get me lookin my best so I can sweep a certain Nascar driver off his feet, get married and get her free lifetime passes to the Races!) Bwahahahahaha

A special thank you to Bubblz for puttin my pics side-by-side. You ROCK!

The befores were taken 4th of July, the new ones taken last night. Its so crazy for me to look at the pics & SEE changes becuz I honestly DON"T see ANY changes thru my own eyes. (Hmmm....something I definately need to work on.)

Mindless Rambling & Scattered Thoughts....

Seems like I have alot of these lately!

* How can Johnny Depp make being dirty, having gold teeth, wearing dreadlocks and black eyeliner so DAMNNN SEXY???!! (I'd set sail with Cap'n Jack Sparrow ANYDAY!)
* Why do I keep having crazy dreams about men I dont even know?
* Why do I read Dede's & Shirley comments & Emails when Im drinkin coffee? I always end up laughing so hard it comes out my nose-ya think I'd learn by now!
* How in the hell can we have a Hail storm when its 112 degrees outside?
* Why do I decide to practice celibacy during a BFL Challenge? We all KNOW that the workouts, healthy food and clean living INCREASE our sex drive...UGGHHHH!!!!!!!
* When is my Eye-Candy gunna come back to the gym?? The last 2+ months just havent been the same with out him to "admire"
* Why do I get asked out on a constant basis when: Im already seeing someone or taking a break from dating....but when Im wantin to date-No such luck!
* Why does Muscle Armor taste soooo nasty?
* Does anyone ever get their Protein Powder to mix up to the point that there are no lil'
"protien-powder-islands" floating around in the glass?
* Why does my upper body tan so easily, but my legs take FOREVER to get dark?
* Damn... Elliott Sadler is sexy-as-hell...
* How can my cell phone go from 5 bars to zero bars & drop my calls when I dont even move?

* Why is almost everything on this list about M-E-N????????????

Damn Celibacy!!

My Lil' Bundle of Sunshine






This is my Baby Gracie Lynn (all 5 lbs of her!)...She makes every morning such a joy & has truly turned me into a Morning Person. I can wake up grumpy, tired, bitchy-whatever, but there she is, stickin her adorable lil face out from under the covers to greet me-all wiggly, happy and ready to start the day. How in the world can I stay in a bad mood or grumpy when she is the 1st thing I see when I open my eyes? (Impossible!)

Ive only had her since April 30. (adopted her from the Min Pin Rescue in CA), but I cant believe the changes she has made in me in such a short time. Seriously-our morning "rituals" have made Mornings my favorite time of the day. I even look FORWARD to our 4:30 AM walks in the 94 degree weather....shes such a blessing!

As yall can see-she had a broken leg when I adopted her, but her cast was taken off 2 weeks ago and shes doin great adjusting to havin her leg back. Weve been workin on her social skills (I couldnt have her within 100 feet of people when I 1st got her becuz she was so afraid of everyone), and now she loves to be out & about with me, will let strangers come up to us and wants to play with everyone. And just in case you were wonderin'...YES, she IS spoiled!!

Life Aint Always Beautiful, but its a Beautiful Ride....

I love that song by Gary Allan...its sooo true! I need to figure out how to put songs on here so yall can hear it.

Heres a few lines from it:

"Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life aint always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time

CHORUS
No, life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

I'm ready to face a new day-be as strong as possible and make the most of it. No matter how bad things get..I need to remember: that I really am truly BLESSED. I have so many things in my life to be Grateful for...especially my friends!

A special THANK YOU to each and everyone of you for the thoughts, prayers and support yesterday. Yall got me thru the entire day WITHOUT Binging or turning to food to drown my emotions. YEAHHHH!!!

Ready to give up....

I REALLY try to stay positive, but this post is about as far from positive as its gets-and Im sorry. I hafta get this out before I literally have a breakdown....and honestly I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of one as I type.

I'm at the end of my rope with my son. I dont know what else to do to help him-Ive tried EVERYTHING that I know how. I tried to give him a clean start here in AZ. I left everything and everyone back in CA just to save him from the gang, the drugs and a life of crime & all the shit that comes with it. It hasnt been the perfect move-but he has made progress in some aspects, but now he is backsliding to a point that I feel helpless.

I know for a fact that hes smokin weed on a daily basis-which I can NOT Tolerate! Now I found out hes done 'Shrooms within the last couple of days. Last night was the final straw-Blake lost his cell phone, so he asked to use mine for a minute. (Yes-he lied to me about who he was callin)Then at 1:00 frickin a.m. MY CELL rings-I answer it all "ghetto" cuz I dont recognize the #, and its his GawwddDammnn "Weedman!" I came un-fuckin glued! The dumb ass even TOLD me his name and asked if I was Blakes Bitch-"Yeah Mutha-f*cka..Im his Bitch..his Bitch-ass Momma!!" (Tha lil punk ass hung up on me.)

I tried to get some help from the local P.D. (i tried a few months ago too) but according to them, becuz Blake isnt on probation or diversion I cant force him into a rehab or a program. He has to go volutarily. Thats bullshit-Im his Mom, his legal guardian-the one thats responsible for him if he gets into trouble with the law-but I cant MAKE him get help. Also, they said that unless they find him in possession of a "substantial" amount of anything-its an Infraction in this district. They wont even come out & arrest him for being under the influence unless I can prove that he is in grave danger of hurting himself or someone else. As bad as shit was back home-at least I had the P.D. on my side.

I cant take seeing my son change into who he is becoming. He is my life-my heart and soul and I would lay down my life in a HEART BEAT for him! To see this mean, nasty, disrespectful young man in Blakes body is killing me....Honestly I dont know what to do at this point. He doesnt listen to me-Ive tried to contact his Dad, but I honestly dont think he will take custody of him. My parents cant take him either-they are in their 60's and already have my loser-drug-addicted 46 yr old brother livin with them.

I swear-my own lil piece of Desert heaven is more like a living hell right now.........

(Deep Sighhhhhh....)

I had a pretty rough night, so I needed sumthin to brighten up my morning.

Week In Review...

BFL:
I'm pretty happy with my week overall. Started out a lil shaky, but THANK YOU Dede for getting me focused & back on track from Wednesday morning on. Also gotta thank LisaMichele for the calls, support & ass kickin on Saturday.100% clean eating since Wed (except yesterday-Freeday)& today I even got back on the treadmill to run. Looking back-I probably SHOULDNT have with all the problems I have been having with my knee. I'm definately payin for it now...and Ill be stickin to the Elliptical or bike for HIIT this week. Im ready for another "perfect day" tomarrow!!

HOME:
A rollercoaster of a week. My lease is up on the 31st of this month. I planned on renewing it for 6 months, but due to the "punk-ass Neighbors" right below me...I spent 2 days out lookin at apts. I really love my neighborhood, its clean, quiet & one of the best areas in all of the Valley and how in the hell they were approved to live here is beyond me. These young wanna-be dope dealers/pimps were BREEDING Pit Bulls in the apt. Can U imagine having 5 adults, 3 kids, 2-90lb pit bulls & 6 puppies in a 2 bedroom apt?! I absolutley have zero-tolerance for punks like them. I spent 10 years dealin with low-lifes like that when I worked in the jail & thats the last thing I wanna deal with at my home.
Anyways-the good news....they got a 10 day moveout notice & it looks like theyre gone! WooHooo...hopefully Ill have my safe quiet lil corner of the earth back real soon! (And no moving until I leave AZ!) Yeahhh!

My bestest friend Kiara came thru last night-it was so good to see her and finally meet my lil 4-legged "niece" Minnie! Thats my girl-shes been my Sister ever since I lost Jen & I love her to death-Miss you Ki!

Me:
For those of you that dont know-Im on a "sabbatical" from Men and dating. So of course..I was asked out TWICE this week! Why does it always happen like that?! Oh well...I stayed strong, arent yall proud of me? Im fine with the whole "no dates/men thing" on the most part, but damnnnnnn-sometimes celibacy is a BITCH!!

NASCAR:
Talk about excitement!! No, not me when I see Elliott-even though I DO get VERY excited! LOL
Im talkin about the race. Well....exciting until the stupid thing went into overtime and my Man ran outta gas with less than 2 laps left. UGGGHHH!!!! Danggggg....so close to a top 5 finish, then ended up in 24th. I think I need to catch the red-eye to NC and go comfort him!

Tagged.....

LisaMichele & Shirley both tagged me for this last week, so here it is:

Four Jobs I have had in my life:

1. Correctional Officer
2. Massage Therapist
3. Realtor
4. Child Care Coordinator (Inmates kids inside a state prison)

Four Movies I would watch over & over:

1. Pure Country
2. Christmas Story
3. Shawshank Redemption
4. Waiting To Exhale

Four Places I have lived:

1. Phoenix, AZ
2. Vacaville, CA
3. Santa Cruz, CA
4. ----------

Four TV Shows I love to watch:

1. Seinfeld
2. NASCAR
3. CSI (Vegas only)
4. Rescue Me

Four Places I have been on vacation:

1. Bahamas
2. Hawaii
3. Ensenada
4. Vegas

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Pizza
2. Watermelon
3. Seafood
4. Mexican Food

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. At the race (hangin out w/Shirley, Dede, Ed & Jim-bo)
2. At the beach
3. On a cruise
4. A BFL Get together

Four friends I have tagged that I think will respond:

1. No one-everyone else has already done this!
2. -------
3. -------
4. ------

Four most influential people in my life:

1. Mom & Pops
2. Jenifer (my sis)
3. Grannie
4. Blake

Four goals I wish to achieve in my lifetime:

1. Raise my Son to be a happy, healthy and productive Young Man
2. Be happy with myself/love myself
3. Help others to achieve a healthy/fit lifestyle
4. Find true love

MY PERFECT DAY......

My girls Shirley & Dede got me thinkin about what my "perfect Day" would be like, so here it is!

My perfect day:
It would start early in the morning with a trip to Home Depot--(where I'd spend a few solid hours just "window shopping" & testing out the tools)--Ive been banned from doing any real shopping at that particular store, but its still fun to play around in there! (Hmmm....I wonder if it would be worth shopping at Lowes?)

Lets see, next I'd pick up a six pack at Office Depot-that should quench my thirst- as I spend the next few hours at Bass Pro Shops.

On my way home, Ill stop off and have a 'lil Coors Light, then end the perfect day, by crawling into bed, covered in candy and fall asleep with a mouthful of M&Ms. And of course, I'd wake up with melted candy all over me.....

Since I need to figure out the picture-thing on here....

I thought I'd give y'all a lil summin-summin HOT to look at!

Here he is...My CRUSH, and YESSSS I've got it BADDDD!

Awwhhhh....
Don't we make a cute couple?



Only 57 days until Im face to face with this Hottie...Gawd Im nervous already!

UUGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Sorry..Im just so frustrated right now! I have been trying to put pics into my post for the last hour & a half, and its still not workin' for me. WTF??

HELPPPPP!!

Christmas in July!!!

Yep..Its 112 degrees outside, but Christmas came a few months early to this girly!! Yesterday when I got home, "Santa" -aka-The Mailman had my mailbox packed with GOODIES!! AWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Lets see, 1st, I finally got the confirmation paperwork from my Workers Comp Atty-And my final pay off is being processed ($$$!!) Y'all just dont know-this has been a long drag out fight for the past 5 years, and even though Im only gettin 25% of what I was originally awarded-its finally almost over!

Next envelope: MY Darryl Worley BACKSTAGE PASS!! Just in time to go see him in Tucson on the 26th & again in CA on the 31st. Darryl has been one of my favorite singers ever since the 1st time I met him about 7 years ago. Hes tall, sexy and always so sweet, and last time I seen him he actually REMEMBERED me! He asked me why was I in AZ when I live in CA! (Me and my Girl Heidi spent the evening gambling with him in CA one night & he totally remembered everything about it) Yeah-I was feelin KINDA special!! hehe

Next: Got a big ol' envelope from my TRUE CRUSH--ELLIOTT SADLER!! (Ok, so what if it was something I ordered from his website.) The lil slip the mailman left me said "To: Dana **** Sender: Elliott Sadler!" Yes-I did call up Shirley and tell her all about it..Im a goofball like that! Hell, I even took a pic of the slip at the post office before I turned it in! BWHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!

And last but definately NOT least..(drum roll please!)
My tickets to Richmond International Raceway came in!! Thats right -NASCAR BAY-BEEEEEEEEEE!!

OMG....Girls-only trip to Richmond VA for 'da races (Busch AND Cup) and a lil extra excitement Ill write about later!!

Now I SERIOUSLY need to get focused on my Challenge so I can look "SMOKE"-N HOTT for the trip! (Had to throw that in there for You Dede!)

I'm FINALLY here!

Ok...since I promised I'd get started, here I am. Still don't have the hang of all of this-so bear with me....it's gunna be pretty bare and boring for awhile!